Bora Majayaha Wala 3iris Majahjah: 3

Dear people of Sudan. Unlike what popular culture would like you to believe, the world does not revolve around al3iris al3iris. There are several hundred more ‘good things’ that can happen to someone which do not involve a man, a house, or an event of any kind, that you can wish to happen to us. There are several hundred more ways you can pay me back rather than ‘serving me on my wedding’. There are several hundred more days you can pray to God to see me on. Also, need I remind you that it already sucks enough seeing everyone else getting married and having children while we toil along our single (but not so bad) lives without you having to remind us of this fact every. Single. Day. It’s bad enough attending weddings of people young enough to be our own offspring without being on the receiving end of feverish prayers from you and your kind that ‘we’ll be next’. It’s bad enough trying to enjoy a dinner or occasion of any kind while dodging your over-nice attitude because you feel sorry that I’m the only single person in the room. It’s bad enough being actually excluded from events because invitations are for couples only. We know you feel sorry for us, we know you stay up all night worrying about when that day of all days will come, and we’re sorry to put you through so much stress on our behalf. But please, can’t you get over it already?

Need I remind you that there are exams to be passed? Masters degrees to be completed? Promotions at work to get? Countries to be ruled? You could wish me any one of those and many more. Trust me, they’re much more flattering, and probably more realistic. Being badgered over and over and OVER again with wishes of marital bliss (and soon) is more annoying and condescending than likely to make me happy and bring tears of gratitude and hope to my eyes. So just stop already. SERIOUSLY. Besides, if I do get married and stuffed into ‘my own house’ this Eid or the next, who’s going to be there to do all the stuff I do that no one else does because everyone else is too busy with their ‘own houses’? Are you sure you want to go there? I mean, really? Are you sure you want to lose the free help, the overnight backup, the doctor available 24/7? Are you sure you want to lose the free ride whenever you want and wherever you want to? Really? Think very carefully before you answer, because you might actually change your mind.

It is now quite clear to me and many other ‘young’ women my age why so many marriages end in divorce. Its mainly because people are driven to the edges of insanity by other people who technically have nothing to do with them, and eventually commit marital suicide by just marrying whoever the hell asks, just to get out of that unfortunate single status. Of course, married people will tell you that this is no solution at all. Rather, the questions and prayers go on to include the wishes for a ‘third member’, the wishes for the ‘third member’ to have a brother or sister, the wishes for the ‘this member’s’ graduation, the wishes for you to complete whatever studies or work you were trying to finish but couldn’t because you had the audacity to rush into marriage before finishing it, and the wishes go on for all eternity until you die. After which, if you’re lucky, they’ll wish you mercy and paradise, but will most likely be wishing that you hadn’t married that person after all.

Bari! There’s just no winning this game.